Provoking Thought of the Day – July 3

How many times can you slam the door on someone before they are no longer waiting on the other side of it?

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Anxious

Anxious over what’s next 

Wondering what you’ll do

Or what I should do 

Will you stay or will you go 

Should I stay or should I go 

Will you talk to me

Part of me wants you to another part wants to not be here anymore 

Wondering what will happen next leaves me sick to my stomach 

I’m scared you won’t try and that I will still want or need you here 

I hope whatever happens next I can handle and can be okay with it 

The worst part is the permanent stamp in heart and mind how I think and miss you so 

Focus

I heard something the other day on you tube and he said take the focus off of you and things will come. I did not catch the whole video so I don’t fully understand the meaning yet. 
It has made me think quite a bit. The video was about coping with pain or loss. 

So why or how do you take the focus off you? 

What do you focus on? 

I am such a deep thinker most of the time it is hard for me to think simply, just enjoy things. 

I lost my faith awhile ago as well and trying to find my way back to it in one of my most confusing, important, life changing years. 

I am seeing I don’t trust people which makes me think about them and their affect on me. Maybe people in my life are vacuums rather than fans as well.

I want to focus on being a better person and finding my way best I can. 

I am trying to let go and let the higher power or divinity bring me to my destiny. 

I am not sure this answers my own thoughts or questions, but it is the best I can come up with. 

Also I will try to focus on good people, quality and genuine moments, living more selflessly then selfishly. 

Thoughts Out Loud

Looking back on the year so far, I can tell and feel it has been a rough one for me. My thoughts have been scattered, focus unreliable, and direction unknown. I don’t know the answers to what I am going through or where to even start. I feel sad a lot, but at the same time a strong will and desire to get through this.

It feels as though I am looking into a dark tunnel and it is up to me what is in there. Is there more darkness or a light with some direction inside. I am constantly trying to be here for others – not always people I should be here for and tend to not be here for some people I should be.

How do you shift things so you are there for the people that are good to you and not the ones that are questionable to you?

I feel like I am making circles and repeating mistakes or things that hurt me. I want so badly to stop, but don’t know how to. So maybe that means I am not ready to or don’t want to. If I continue down this path I foresee an immense amount of heartache. When is enough, enough I wonder and when will I finally snap out of it before it is too late?

I am thinking strength and discipline. I wish I was disciplined enough on this matter like I am about running daily. I am going to try something new and do my best to apply that discipline to this. Hoping for the best and hoping that I can release some of this worry and need for control to a higher power. Hoping to find my way back to faith and love.

Soulful eyes

Eyes dark and piercing.

So much to say, but so afraid to.

Deep dark thoughts and bright ones that could dim or lighten the world around her.

Thoughts and feelings about things small or big that may or may not be important.

Knowing deep down inside something so big exists that if you could properly share the thoughts and stories it could positively impact others.

You see this and feel this when you look into those soulful eyes.

Validation

Stamped and sealed approval from the person you care so much about.

Always looking elsewhere, but never inside.

Need to find it at home, in love life, school, or work.

Likes versus no likes.

That surge of confidence from attention.

The praise you crave or need when you are feeling down or low.

Just to know your doing an okay job rather than an awful one.

Sometimes we want it sometimes we need it.

Hopefully we give it to ourselves first and foremost.

 

Squandering time

Making the most of time is so important.

Never knowing how much time we really have.

Who it should or should not be spent on.

Sometimes we spend the time on it regardless, hopeful of different outcomes.

How do we make the most of our time do we have kids, climb mountains, advance our career, devote it to our faith in a higher power.

Do we party and celebrate every moment in social settings.

Find and make fun by ourselves.

Time is what we want it to be, what we find most important to us.

Something that afterwards we think I made the most of my time and this was good for me as well.

Think before your squander and if you still squander think about it after what else could I have done with my time.