I am not your option
I am not your thing on the side
I am not the one you can run to when things are so so
I am not a supplement to the things you have
You seem to have it all already
Sometimes I wonder why want or need an option
I don’t think of you as an option and never will you are much more to me than that
Riddle me this, riddle me that.
Now I know you find some fun in that.
How much fun do you find in a riddle.
Does it take you hours to get or are you quick as a rabbit.
Are you the one riddling or are you being riddled to.
The mash up of words and thoughts, how they get the blood flowing.
Good, bad, funny, stupid, you will figure it out.
There are riddles are all around us so many to decipher.
Maybe one day we all be masters of riddles, until then keep riddling.
All of your promises or notions of appealing to be are wrapped tightly with you gold.
You make sure they are shiny and hard for me to not at look at.
You intentionally want me to be drawn and lost in your promises.
Once the gold is peeled away from your promises everything else crumbles.
Just because I might want the gold that you are offering does not make it solid or reliable.
How tricky it is to decided the content of your gold covered promises will it be solid this time or crumble again as always.
I could drown myself in the ways you make me feel all over.
You trigger this impulse, shiver through me.
Your energy pulses through me.
You know just what to say and do.
You are a tricky one for sure.
I would like to think I am decadent to you but I think that’s what you want me to believe.
You’ll never really know me with the games you play.
And I think you believe that’s okay, but maybe one day you will see that differently.. or not.
You are like a rich bold decadent dessert the more I have the more I want.
Your taste is overwhelming, I’m satisfied mostly but not ever completely satisfied or done.
Maybe one day you’ll see or crave the deep decadence in me that I saw and felt towards you.
What is your silly side, the side that you hide.
Only so many people are graced with this side.
How funny are you do you make yourself laugh or cry from laughter.
Do you dance in your undies, jump on the bed, sing into a hairbrush.
Do you talk to yourself and your pets and have fun one sided conversations.
Do you dress up for these silly occasions.
Make up your own jokes or stories to amuse others.
Get crazy in the car or your back yard when you think no one can see but actually they do.
Are you clumsy or have special talents that only a few can see.
Never hide your silly side chances are your silly side and mine would have a grand time.
The closer I get to you the more numb I feel.
It is like I loose all sense of feel so I can feel something with you.
There is you and then there is everything else.
Why must I be so distant from you to feel more about other things.
To think and see more clearly.
I get these waves of numbness about a lot of things when your around.
Like I am attached to a drain and all thoughts, feelings, emotions are being sucked out of me.
How can that be when I care and think so much of you.
Did I put too much spare change in a jar labeled with your name.
Should I have done a better job at creating more jars and investing in other things.
I do not know what it is about you that creates this numbness, I will try to think ahead more as I make my investments.
I hope that I can start feeling more and decrease the numbness that rushes over me with you.
When you feel lost call out to a higher power.
When you feel unsafe call out to a higher power.
When you have no answers to always present questions call out to a higher power.
When you just need to let go and let things be call out to a higher power.
When things get crazy and you have no control call out to a higher power.
When you need a gentle or big nudge to do something you fear call out to a higher power.
Before you lose all faith in self, others, or the world call out to a higher power..